Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Pujian Sebagai alat membina keyakinan diri
Ibubapa dan guru biasanya memberikan fokus kepada kesalahan yang dilakukan oleh anak atau murid mereka. Ibubapa dan guru yang hebat akan memberikan fokus apakah perkara yang baik, bagus dan bermanfaat yang telah dilakukan oleh anak atau murid mereka. Kemudian mereka memberikan respon yang positif kepada anak atau murid mereka dan menjadikan anak dan murid mereka merasa hebat. Mereka memperkasakan kelakuan positif anak atau murid mereka itu melalui kata-kata pujian dan rangsangan.
Ibubapa dan guru yang hebat percaya langkah pertama ialah dengan memberikan fokus kepada kepada kekuatan dan pencapaian terlebih dahulu. Kemudian barulah diperbetulkan segala tingkah-laku yang tidak betul dan negatif itu.
Apabila kanak-kanak merasa dirinya disayangi dan berkebolehan, mereka akan lebih bersedia untuk mendengar saranan dan nasihat, serta mampu mengubah kelakuan negatif mereka itu.
Dua perkara yang perlu kita ingat sebelum memuji ialah ;
*Ikhlas bila melontarkan pujian. Jangan memuji sesuatu perkara jika ia memang tidak dilaksanakan dengan sempurna. Kita kena ingat bahawa anak-anak atau murid kita tidak bodoh. Jika kita memuji mereka hanya sekadar untuk mengambil hati, maka mereka akan merasa seperti kita menipu mereka sahaja.
*Pujian tersebut khusus kepada USAHA atau HASIL yang dilakukan dan bukannya ke atas individu tersebut itu sendiri. Kajian menunjukan, apabila ibubapa atau guru memberikan pujian kepada tubuh badan anak atau murid, mereka akan meragui pujian tersebut.
Sebagai contoh ; “Kamu memang bijak”, atau “kamu seorang yang kreatif”.
Sebaliknya, pujilah usaha yang telah dilakukan atau hasil daripada usaha itu tadi.
Sebagai contoh ;
“Terima kasih kerana membantu ibu membuang sampah di dapur.”
“Kerana kamu selalu mencuci bilik air inilah, adik kamu tidak tergelincir di dalamnya, tahniah!”
Source : Seronokbelajar.com
Friday, January 22, 2010
Membentuk Kemahiran Membaca Kanak-kanak
Kanak-kanak patut diajar membaca ketika kecil lagi.
Ketika berusia 18 bulan, kanak-kanak sudah boleh diperkenalkan kemahiran membaca secara beransur-ansur. Unsur utama yang perlu diberi penekanan ialah kesedaran umum mengenai bunyi-bunyi perkataan dan penggunaannya dalam situasi seharian. Contohnya perkataan “mama” dan “papa.” Kedua-dua perkataan ini boleh ditulis dan diperkenalkan kepada kanak-kanak kerana kekerapan penggunaannya.
Apabila kanak-kanak meningkat usia 3 hingga 4 tahun, mereka sebenarnya berada dalam peringkat pembinaan bahasa yang pesat. Menurut para pengkaji perkembangan kanak-kanak, perkembangan menyeluruh kanak-kanak ialah galakan untuk perkembangan fizikal, mental, emosi, sosial dan bahasa.
Period yang paling kritikal untuk memperkenalkan kemahiran membaca kepada kanak-kanak ialah 0 hingga 3 tahun. Ibu bapa atau guru yang bijak akan sensitif dengan perkembangan kanak-kanak pada masa ini kerana :
Umur 1 ½ hingga 3 tahun adalah peringkat yang paling sesuai untuk belajar dan mengingat maklumat. Kanak-kanak yang diberi kemahiran membaca pada peringkat usia ini akan menyerap jauh lebih banyak pengetahuan berbanding kanak-kanak yang tidak tahu membaca.
Semasa membaca, selalunya kita akan mengingat perkataan yang disebut serentak dengan perkataan yang bertulis. Begitulah juga kanak-kanak. Jika berusia 3 tahun dapat membaca, tentulah kemahiran membaca akan mempercepatkan proses pemahaman bahan bacaan yang dibacanya.
Kanak-kanak sangat lasak ketika berumur 2 hingga 3 tahun kerana mereka sangat dahagakan pengetahuan. Ibu bapa atau guru dapat mengesan perubahan ini dengan mengamati pertanyaan kanak-kanak seperti, “Ni apa?” atau “Apa tu?” Ujian menunjukkan kanak-kanak sejak dari umur 2 hingga 12 tahun bertanya sehingga 80 peratus daripada percakapan mereka. Apabila ke sekolah menengah, pertanyaan telah berkurangan sehingga 40 peratus.
Kanak-kanak belajar membaca ketika masih kecil biasanya lebih cepat bertindak dan lebih faham membaca berbanding kanak-kanak yang belajar membaca semasa di sekolah. Sebabnya ialah kanak-kanak belajar membaca dengan senang hati dan memahaminya seperti mendengar orang bercakap manakala kanak-kanak di sekolah belajar membaca dengan perasaan takut dan membaca diajar sebagai mata pelajaran yang berasingan.
Bagaimana kanak-kanak belajar membaca ?Pelbagai kaedah yang digunakan oleh kanak-kanak untuk mempelajari bahasa mengikut peringkat umur.
0 hingga 2 ½ tahun
* mula mengetahui dan memahami bahasa yang dipertuturkan oleh ibu bapa ketika berusia 18 bulan.
* belajar bahasa dengan mengumpul perkataan.
* kaedah belajar ialah melalui rangsangan deria pendengaran secara langsung & tidak langsung.
* rangsangan membaca ialah memperkenalkan buku-buku yang mengandungi banyak gambar dan berwarna- warni.
* kosa kata berkembang sehingga 270.
2 ½ hingga 4 ½ tahun
* peringkat kritikal dalam proses belajar bahasa.
* terbentuk satu unit bahasa dalam otak secara berasingan.
* perkembangan bahasa akan membantu perkembangan mental dan sosial.
* kanak-kanak belajar membaca dengan memperkenalkan huruf bersama gambar.Pada peringkat ini, kesediaan membaca masih belum terbentuk sepenuhnya dan ibu bapa harus bersabar semasa membimbing anak-anak mereka.
* mampu mengingat sehingga 1500 kota kata.
4 ½ hingga 7 tahun
* perkembangan otak memasuki fasa terakhir.
* kanak-kanak sudah menunjukkan minat dan kesediaan membaca dengan mengenali banyak
perkataan dan suka bertanya serta melihat gambar.
* corak pengajaran ialah mendedahkan kepada persekitaran seperti membezakan bunyi-bunyi binatang atau kenderaan; cara ini dapat melatih kanak-kanak meningkatkan daya pendengaran mereka.
* mampu mengingat sehingga melebihi 4500 kosa kata.
Walau bagaimanapun sesetengah kanak-kanak masih belum dapat membaca biarpun umur semakin meningkat. Keadaan ini mungkin disebabkan mereka tidak memahami tahap-tahap pengajaran bahasa yang betul
Source: HALUAN
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
10 communication mistakes parents make
Jamilah Samian, a certified professional trainer and author of Cool Mum Super Dad and Cool Boys Super Sons, believes that in order to engage the children of today we need to give them feedback while not stifling them.
“In my time, kids looked at adults as figures of authority and knew that they had to listen to him or her without much questioning. That is not really the mindset of kids these days and it's a good thing, too.
“We want them to be able to think for themselves one day. We're not going to be there all the time for them and we can't do their thinking for them. So, if we were to think long-term, we have to train them to be able to think for themselves.
“If you keep telling them don't do this and don't do that, then how are they going to think for themselves? They need to be given enough space to define a lot of things but if there are certain things that you feel strongly about, then you need to explain to them why rather than saying 'This is the way it's always been done and you should do it this way'. They will really appreciate it if they know why,” she says.
Why you want effective communication
Outlining why we want effective communication with our children, Jamilah says, like it or not, we want to become their reference point, especially in their growing-up years.
“There are so many negative influences outside. When it comes to their decision-making moments, I'm sure all of us, no matter how open-minded we are, want them to make the 'right' decision.
“But we cannot become their reference point if we do not have effective communication with them.”
Another reason for wanting good communication is to impart our values to them. Here, values is not just about Asian or religious values. There are also values like being optimistic, personal responsibility, personal accountability, being non-discriminatory ….
The third reason is to have an enduring and endearing relationship with our children. We want a warm relationship with our children and we can only have such a relationship if we have good communication with them.
Prerequisites
So what are the prerequisites to good communication?
- Believe. If we believe that we can have good and effective communication with our children, then we can have it.
- Attitude. If we want to enjoy good communication with our children, we need to have a positive attitude.
- Skills. It's not enough that we want a good relationship and good communication with our children. If we don't have the right skills we will be repeating communication mistakes over and over again.
- Knowledge. We have to understand ourselves, how we've been raised and we have to understand our children. Much of how we communicate depends on how we have been raised and the environment that shapes us. We need to understand who we are and why we are the person we are.
10 mistakes
With that in mind, Jamilah outlines and explains 10 common communication mistakes that parents make:
1) Having low expectations.If we have low expectations about the kind of communication we have with our children then we are not going to push ourselves to make it better.
2) Not being able to move forward.This is related to the low expectations. For example, if there are some issues with our children and we keep bringing up events in the past, we are not able to transcend beyond what has happened in the past, then we are going to get stuck.The best thing is to just tell yourself, “Today is a new day”. We just have to leave the past in the past. We need to give communication with our children a good chance every day.We need to keep in mind that change begins with the smallest of things and when we say things could be better, it's not going to be better overnight. If communication has broken down for many years, then we cannot expect it to be better overnight.
3) Jumping to conclusions.We should allow our children to explain the situation instead of making assumptions and jumping to conclusions.
4) Be specific.If we are not happy about something, we need to be specific about what it is we are unhappy about rather than generalising and accusing them by saying 'You always do this' or 'You never do that'. Not being specific and using ambiguous words will lead to miscommunication and jumping to conclusions.
5) Not being sensitive to our children's emotions.When we are tired, angry or stressed, we tend not to be effective communicators. That's not a good time to communicate and there is a risk of being insensitive to their emotions. So, if you are tired or stressed, then wait until you feel better before communicating with your child. If it's not urgent, ask your child if you can talk about it later. If it's urgent, then you'll just have to do it then and there, of course.
6) Information overload.We tend to communicate a lot of things to our children in one breath. Sometimes, we may not be happy about certain things that our children do and for some reason we don't communicate specifically what we are unhappy with. So it just piles up and piles up until one day we are so angry that it's like a dam breaking and everything goes out and we have forgotten what the specifics are. We don't even remember what we are angry with, and that's when we make generalisations and accusations. That is always something that we need to avoid.Be specific. Don't say, 'You are lazy, you NEVER …'.Words like 'never' – we really have to be careful of that.You really need to be as specific as possible – what do you want them to do.
7) Not taking the chance to listen.They need a chance to show us what they are capable of. And as much as we love them and are concerned that they might make mistakes, mistakes are the things that make people a lot wiser. So, we need to keep our concerns, worries and anxieties in check. Sometimes we just need to let them go, listen to them and allow them to make their own mistakes.
8) Not being able to rephrase.Rephrasing is a very effective way to communicate. Effective communication takes place when the intended message gets to the receiver. But how do we make sure that this happens, because sometimes when somebody says something we might hear it another way. If you're not sure, say something to the effect, 'Do you mean to say that …' just to make sure you are on the same page. Being able to rephrase is important, regardless of how old the child is and especially with teenagers.
9) It's not just about listening; it's also about making a connection.If we don't make the time to connect with our child, it's just a matter of time before there will be distancing between us and our child and then we cannot build trust and respect. Without trust we cannot impart the values we really want to impart to our children.
10) If there is more than one child, we need to spend time communicating with them individually.When we have more than one, the elder ones are often given less attention. The child's age doesn't matter. Younger and older children need attention. Spend time individually with each child. Perhaps take each one out alone – time alone with mum or dad. Rotate them on a regular basis, perhaps monthly.Taking time to do this solves a lot of problems, even issues like sibling rivalry that crop up in many families. When we make them feel like they're somebody and not like the rest of the siblings, somehow these issues disappear. If we want them to open up more to us we need to listen more rather than talk more.Explain to themJamilah advises parents to explain the situation to the children if there are financial problems or if the marriage is going through a rough patch and the child is old enough to understand.
Source : parenthots.com
Monday, January 18, 2010
Arrowhead @ Buah Ngaku
Sempena dgn CNY... mama dgn penuh semangat waja nyer telah mengajak sumer org ke Tesko....semata-mata nak cari buah Ngaku nieeee.... hehehheee.... nasib baik mmg dah ade buah nie kat Tesko.... so, sempat ler mama memborong berkilo-kilo.... ( mcm mama lak yg beria nak celebrate CNY....)
Buah Ngaku nie merupakan sejenis tumbuhan berubi yg hidup dlm air.... isi nyer warna putih (mcm sengkuang )... katanya buah nie merupakan sayuran bermusim... time CNY jer buah nie ada...tu yg biler dah musim CNY...mama mesti kalut cari buah ngaku... mama suka goreng jd kerepek....sedddaaappp sesgt rasenyer... rase lemak2 gituuuuu....
Blk dr Tesko....dgn semangat wajanye.... Che Mah & mama terus memulakan operasi mengupas.... menyagat & mengoreng (nie usahasama che mah & kak midah).... hasil nyer...... sakan mama mkn kerepek Ngaku....hehehheheheheee....
Buah Ngaku yg berlonggok-longgok kat Tesko...
Proses menyagat Ngaku...
Mama yg tekun mengupas kulit Ngaku...
Ngaku yg berjaya di sagat....
Hasilnya...kerepek Ngaku kegemaran mama.... ngaku yg dah di sagat tadi...di goreng dlm minyak + sedikit garam.... sedddaapppp........ mama dah beria weeekend nie nak gi beli ngaku lagi....hahahaahahhaha...
Monday, January 11, 2010
Mari mengecat
mama pun tolong jugak abah mengecat(hehhehe..nak jugak tuuu...claim wat kije jugak...) kakak pulak..siap tanye, "kenapa mama bungkus rumah...nak bagi hadiah ke?"... hahahahha..sebab nyer...mama duk bungkus sliding door.... tak nak bagi terkena cat.... yang paling kesian... adik ler...asyik nangis nak keluar dr rumah...gara2 dia di kurung dlm rumah.. tak blh keluar... keluar kang, sure haruuuu... habih sumer cat dia ambik wat main.....
apa pun... work still in progress... ntah sempat abih ke tak cat grill nie...silap2...mau bertahun grill umah mama kaler campur2.... jenuh abah nak siapkan satu umah... takper... mama dah bagi diskaun... abah sempat siapkan yg belah depan pun dah ok... yg lain2... kite tgk camne..... (seeee...mama baik kannnnnnn... hehehheeee)
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010
kat rumah ni dah berdentum2 bunyi mercun...
tanpa sedar masa berlalu....skrg dah melangkah ke 2010...
Tahun baru...so, sumer nyer penuh ngan azam baru... azam mama utk kami sekeluarga...
untuk mama....semoga tahun ni mama makin kurang merajuk...syian abah asyik duk kena pujuk mama jerr...kan sayang kan.... hehhehehehee...
untuk abah...cepat2 abih sekolah...semoga semuanya berjln lancar... hujung thn nie abah berjaya abih kan "sekolah" abah... rajin2 wat kijer sekolah yerrrr syg....
untuk tasha... thn nie mesti pandai membaca dahhhhhhhhh...
untuk akief... thn nie kena pandai bercakap dah tanpa pelat....hahahahahahhaaa...
ok lerr..mama dah ngantuk.... penat mama duk countdown sorg2... sumer org dah tido dahhhhh...mama nak gi joint abah, kakak & adik tido....mmmwwuuahhhh... syg sumerrr...